The Reality of Our Society

Rugiatu, the Apple of My Grandpa’s Eyes

By Mo Hamad Kargbo

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon in our compound. I sat under the avocado tree, frowning and grumbling about how relationships nowadays are nothing but a scam. My grandpa, Pa Mohamed, walked towards me and asked gently, “My grandson, is everything alright?”

I sighed and replied, “No, Grandpa, nothing is alright. Relationships today are a scam. Girls are just using us for nothing. I don’t even believe in love anymore, there’s no such thing as true love.”

Grandpa burst into laughter. I frowned even more and asked him why he found my frustration funny. He did not answer immediately. Instead, he stood up, walked inside the house, and returned a few minutes later with an old photo album, two glasses of water, and a bowl of boiled groundnuts. He handed me a glass, and we started chewing together.

“My grandson,” he began, “love is beautiful, love is priceless, and love is a wonderful thing.” I shook my head. “Maybe that was in your time, Grandpa. Now, love is nothing but a scam.”

He laughed again. “Ah, my son, I know what I am saying because I have lived it. The problem with your generation is that you fail to understand the foundation of love. True love is about compatibility and choosing someone who is truly your match.” I leaned closer, curious. “How, Grandpa? Because honestly, I am lost.”

He opened the photo album and began to tell me his story. “My grandson, I met your grandmother, Rugiatu, on the farm. At that time, I was dating two other women in the village, Binta and Isha. They were more beautiful in appearance than Rugiatu, but what set her apart was the gold in her heart, her genuine love, and her broad, beautiful smile.

I first saw her planting vegetables, singing our traditional songs with so much passion. I hid behind a palm tree for a while, just listening to her melody. Her voice and strength touched me deeply. I approached her and offered to help on the farm, and she agreed. From that day, I began accompanying her every day.

One afternoon, I gathered the courage to tell her how I felt. You see, yes, I was already dating two women, but I knew in my heart they were not for me. Binta and Isha only desired an extravagant lifestyle. They wanted the latest clothes, jewelry, and all the luxuries village life could not provide. They were beautiful, yes, but beauty without contentment is a dangerous trap.

At that time, I was financially struggling, and I realized staying with them would only render me useless. So before I started blaming women, I told myself the truth, they were simply not my match. Rugiatu was. She did not answer me immediately, but after two weeks, she finally said yes.”

Grandpa smiled, his eyes shining with memories. “From then on, we worked hand in hand. She supported my dreams and career, encouraged me when I felt like giving up, and even contributed ideas when we struggled financially. She pampered me, motivated me, and stood by me emotionally, spiritually, and physically. And I did the same for her. That is how we built our home, raised our five children, and gave life to the grandchildren you see today.

Now, let’s imagine, if I had abandoned Rugiatu to chase after those women who only wanted to live like city girls, would I be the man I am today? The answer is no. Choosing her was the best decision of my life. Your grandmother is truly the apple of my eyes.”

He paused, looking at me seriously. “My grandson, the problem with your generation of young men is that you are chasing women whose demands are far above your reality. Women who want the latest iPhone, expensive wigs, designer clothes, and weekends filled with clubbing. You know you cannot afford this lifestyle, but you still run after them. When they finally leave you for someone more stable, you turn around and blame women, calling love a scam. That is not love, it is a financial mistake you made with your eyes wide open.

Build yourself first. Choose a woman who matches your capacity and vision. A woman who genuinely wants the best for you, who will grow with you, not drain you. When you find her, don’t take her for granted. Love her as much as she loves you. That is the kind of love that lasts.”

I sat in silence, staring at the old photographs of Grandma Rugiatu. Her youthful face radiated joy, strength, and contentment. At that moment, I realized that many of us men are missing the point. We mistake luxury for love, appearances for substance, and temporary excitement for lifelong companionship.

What made Grandpa and Grandma’s love so powerful was not money, looks, or status, it was partnership, sacrifice, and genuine care. Rugiatu played the real role of a wife, mother, and friend, supportive, patient, strong, and selfless. She was not after what Grandpa had, but after who he was and who they could become together. And indeed, together, they became more than just a couple; they became the root of a family tree that continues to flourish.